The Claudia Brown

Recently, a friend told me I was “past my prime.”

Ironically, it was meant as a compliment — my friend was admiring a photo from three years prior and made an offhand comment that in that photo, I was in my “prime.”

They seemed baffled when I took offense to the notion that my best days were behind me, adding: “Most people would agree that 45 is past a women’s prime.”

A quick google search would prove my friend right.

But right or wrong.  I couldn’t get the comment out of my mind.

Not because it rang true … but because I’ve always felt the opposite: that my potential has barely been tapped.

My mother always told me that her 40’s were her best decade: when she felt her most vibrant, energetic and beautiful.

Since I was born when she 39, my formational memories of her were when she was in her 40’s. A tall, smiling redhead she commanded a room and the blanket assumption was that she was many years younger. In her 50’s, she earned her Master’s Degree — driving two hours *each way* to College Park for night classes after her full-time work as the head of the children’s  department of the library.

As an awkward child with big dreams, I took comfort in the possibility that I too might be a late bloomer!

But when I turned 39, I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. Chronic pain from a series of car accidents and undiagnosed mental health issues weighed heavy and sapped my energy. I’d always assumed I’d be just like my mother — but with age 40 now just around the corner, I was starting to have my doubts!

However, fate intervened, and in the most unexpected of ways.

Three months before my 40th birthday, I found myself newly single with a myriad of responsibilities that challenged me to my core — and ultimately led me down paths and inspired experiences  I never dreamt would be possible.

I’ve had more adventures in my 40’s than in all of the years prior combined! I even landed my first professional modeling gig, just one month shy of my 45th birthday!

When I told my mother that a friend had said I was past my prime, her indignation was so validating! She knitted her brow, shook her head, and laughed. “It’s a good thing I never thought that!”

I nodded, smiling in agreement.

What a gift she had given me all these years … how many of us hold ourselves back by self-imposed limitations or by the perceptions of others?

Past my prime?

I’m just getting started!